90s, Movies, Quick Lists — May 12, 2015 7:42 pm

18 Questionable Movie Choices Linz Made From 1997-2000

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In an attempt to clear off some shelves in my office, I started going through some old scrapbooks from the late 90s/early 2000s. In case you’re ever considering doing this: don’t.

In the process, I found a bunch of movie tickets I saved for some reason or another. Some are in rougher shape than others, some are more expensive than others (but still not in the $10-$15 range we pay here now). Today, I present to you: Linz’s Questionable Movie Choices.

18 – Liar Liar


Or as the receipt has it stylized: liar liar. Ok, e.e. cummings at the ticket kiosk, cool your jets. An embarrassing entry? Maybe not, but it’s the earliest movie ticket in my collection, dated June 14, 1997. I didn’t realize I saw it in theatres.

17 – X-Files


I was allllllll about the X-Files when it was on. Seriously. I cried (hard) at Mulder’s storyline with his sister, especially. Anyway, I saw the movie in theatres June 30, 1998, which means I likely dragged a former friend with me, even though she’d make fun of my X-Files love. She is a former friend not because of this, but clearly the writing was on the wall.

16 – Basketball


I started watching South Park in its first season after an online friend mentioned it to me. From there I was hooked (and have been less hooked as the years go on, but when I do go back to catch up on it, I always appreciate it). This South Park obsession led to a Trey Parker obsession. I even had the poster for Baseketball on the back of my bedroom door. I remember panicking in the weeks leading up to their first motion picture’s release, not knowing if I’d be able to see Basketball in theatres. I’m in Canada and we have a different movie rating system here. To make matters more confusing: I also live in a border city meaning all we got were U.S. channels, and therefore U.S. trailers for Basketball. It would be clear for me to watch in the U.S., but here? Ehhh… Finally, that Thursday when the newspaper came out with the movie times, I saw it was rated PG 13 and I was able to go. This was on July 31, 1998. I went with someone I had dated for like a month in the summer. Good on him for putting up with my shitty movies choices.

15 – She’s All That


Obligatory teen rom-com. Not exactly a fan, but it seems like it’s mandatory watching, so I’m glad I got it out of the way on February 16, 1999. I’m also glad we went on cheap night.

14 – Waterboy


You know those cheap theatres in the mall where you can see a movie that’s likely out on video already for $1? We used to have one of those, but haven’t for a long time. I took advantage of that to see Waterboy on March 16, 1999– the exact same day it was released on DVD. Worth every $1 I spent on it.

13 – Star Wars I: The Phantom Menace


At the time, I was trying to date a guy that was hella into Star Wars. I guess you could call our first “date” watching the first two original movies at his mom’s house while she nonchalantly vacuumed around us to make sure there was no funny business. I procured us a um, “early screener” VHS copy, but we later went to the theatre on June 5, 1999 to see it on the big screen.

12 – Austin Powers 2: The Spy…..


So much suspense in those ellipses! I don’t believe I saw the original Austin Powers in theatres, nor do I think I saw it before watching this. And it’s possible I still haven’t seen it (despite remembering vague details about who I was with for most of these movies, my attention span/memory ain’t so great). I did see the second one, on June 12, 1999. And I saw the third one, but that ticket is in a different box.

11 – South Park


As I mentioned before, I was really into South Park, so of course I saw the South Park movie in theatres on July 11, 1999. This was also a date with the Star Wars guy. Maaaan he had a way with the ladies.

10 – Star Wars I: The Phantom Menace


Oh that’s right, I saw this twice in theatres with Star Wars guy. Listen, we don’t always make the best decisions in life. Star Wars guy and I broke up in 2001, but on June 24, 1999 we were all about this movie. Well, he was. But hell, I tried.

9 – Sixth Sense


As a big NKOTB fan, I was happy to see Donnie Wahlberg on the big screen, but not like this. I remember the ending blowing me away. Oh how naive I was on August 10, 1999! I know it’s a giant joke now, but damn I was 16!

8 – Mickey Blue Eyes


Looks like e.e. cummings was back at the ticket kiosk. As punishment for making me watch Star Wars, I dragged Star Wars boyfriend to this rom-com disaster on August 20, 1999. In my defense, I only wanted to see it because Scott Thompson was in it. For five seconds. I can’t believe I spent $6 on that.

7 – Stigmata


The only thing I remember about this movie was that I went with my friend Robin (on September 11, 1999) and afterwards she told me I wasn’t ever allowed to pick the movie again. I’m surprised it took that long to happen. I’m also not allowed to order pizza (tomatoes, pineapple, and green olives are delicious, so fuck you!)

6 – Pokemon


Can I claim I went to see the Pokemon movie on November 12, 1999 because of the “Weird Al” Polkamon tie-in even though that was for the second film?

5 – Pokemon


…Can anything redeem me seeing the Pokemon movie twice in one week (November 19, 1999)? Whatever, I still have the trading cards they gave out:


4 – Deuce Bigelow


Deuce Bigelow is still, hands down, one of my favorite movies of all time. Judge all you want, but I love me some Rob Schneider. I saw this on December 10, 1999. I wore bright yellow jeans to the theatre and my friends did not want to sit with me. Assholes.

3 – Where the Heart Is


On May 3, 2000 I made the poor decision to see the Wal-Mart movie. If you’re not familiar, Natalie Portman gives birth at a Wal-Mart. At the time, I thought Wal-Mart was awesome, so I was on board with this. I now know better. So much better.

2 – Boys and Girls


I had to look this movie up right now because I have no idea wtf it is. Apparently it’s a rom-com that’s basically Dharma and Greg. I love Dharma and Greg! But this movie apparently did nothing for me, because even after reading the plot on Wikipedia I have no recollection of this. I saw this on June 29, 2000. Freddie Prinze Jr. is in it, so I was likely dragged there by my friend Robin. Adding insult to injury: Boys and Girls has an 11% rating from Rotten Tomatoes. Its budget was $35 million and it only made $25 million at the box office. Hey, I did my part. Sorry things didn’t work out, Freddie, at least you’re married to Buffy.

1 – X-Men


Well, that’s sort of redeeming for me, right? At least we get to leave this embarrassing list on a high note, because on August 7, 2000 I saw X-Men in theatres.

What’s the most embarrassing movie you saw in theatres? Let us know by leaving a comment below!

1 Comment

  • I came across this page because I was desperately trying to jog my memory as to what the Parkway 5 cinemas were named. I knew 4 out of 5 and you filled the blank — Rio! — so thank you! Now I can go on being productive with my life. Hahah.

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