80s, 90s, Cartoons, Movies, Quick Lists, TV — June 20, 2012 8:30 am

7 Family Movies That Had Too Many Sequels

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Movies we grew up with hold a special place in our memory.  Do you remember the Thanksgiving family outing to see Home Alone?  Or maybe when your first grade teacher surprised you with a cherished video tape?  Unfortunately, the originals you loved in your youth have been milked, cashed, and re-hashed countless times.

Here are seven family movies that had too many sequels.

7 – Baby Geniuses


It’s been reported that at least seven copies of the double feature box set have been sold.

Being released in 1999, this wasn’t exactly a cherished movie of my childhood.  However, the two stars who agreed to be in this film ruined some of that good mojo.  Christopher Lloyd (aka Doc Brown) and Kathleen Turner (aka Jessica Rabbit) at least realized the errors of their ways and passed on the sequel that never should have been made.  One sequel was too many.

6 – Free Willy


Beau Bridges, known for his uncanny likeness to musician Huey Lewis, starred in the latest Free Willy installment… apparently.

Who didn’t jump for joy in the theater when the whale was finally set free?  Well, the cheerful cries were preemptive, because Keiko the whale’s agent called him back for a few more movie deals.  Maybe Willy was an innocent whale who should have been set free in the first film, but by the fourth (direct to home video) release, he was asking for trouble.

5 – All Dogs Go To Heaven

Winning?  Charlie Sheen voicing the main character in the sequel.

Nothing kept me up at night more than the six years I spent wondering what happened to Charlie B. Barkin after the end of All Dogs Go To Heaven.  Okay, no, that didn’t really happened.  What actually kept me up all night was wondering why anyone green lit a theatrical sequel to All Dogs Go To Heaven.  At least they were smart enough to market the third feature as a TV movie.

4 – An American Tail

“An incredible story the entire family will enjoy” or false advertising?

There are four, count ’em, four An American Tail films.  Admittedly, I liked the first sequel, Fievel Goes West, but I didn’t exactly line up at the discount bin to get the third and fourth installments.  According to the Wikipedia article I just researched, the third movie is full of some pretty heavy social commentary.  Apparently, as I discovered from clicking a link from the first Wikipedia article, they abandoned that aspect of the movies for the fourth one almost entirely.  The main antagonist An American Tail: The Mystery of the Night Monster?  The longest movie title ever, err, I mean a poodle with a buzz saw.  Yep.

3 – Beethoven

I’d actually believe this is the real trailer.

I’m pretty sure my childhood friends still hate me for choosing Beethoven’s 2nd as my birthday party movie.  Looking back, I guess that could explain why I haven’t heard from them in two decades.  From the moment the first sequel was announced, we all knew there were going to be at least five Beethoven movies based on the title’s pun-like reference.  What surprised me, is they kept going after Beethoven’s 5th!  In case someone missed the memo, you can stop making Beethoven movies now.  We got the joke, haha, please stop… just stop.

2 – Home Alone


That was pretty much my reaction to the Home Alone 5 announcement.

Kevin McCallister proved himself a hero in Home Alone, defending his family estate from two bumbling bandits.  Somehow, his family lost track of him again in the second movie.  Unfortunately, they must have also lost the artistic merit of the first two films because two more movies followed.

Macaulay Culkin made the first two movies so memorable, that they just announced they’re still planning on cranking out more sequels.  Look what you did, you little jerk!

1 – The Land Before Time

Who knew these creepy puppets would inspire so many blatant cash-in sequels?

They actually stopped teaching basic counting skills in kindergarten classrooms.  Now, they just show students a pile of the dozen or so The Land Before Time movies.  For instance, to most children today, the number 4 is known as “Journey Through the Mists”.  If a child were to count to ten, it would go something like this:  “The Land Before Time, The Great Valley Adventure, The Time of the Great Giving, Journey Through the Mists, The Mysterious Island, The Secret of Saurus Rock, The Stone of Cold Fire, The Big Freeze, Journey to Big Water, The Great Longneck Migration”.  Think I’m kidding?  The marketing team actually removed the numbers from the sequels on re-releases.

 

Did we miss some of your favorite movies that had too many sequels?  Tell us about it in the comments below!

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