90s, Blog, TV — August 4, 2015 8:57 am

American Gladiators + Farts = American Flatulators

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I haven’t written about it, which seems strange, but I am a huge American Gladiators fan. Maybe one day I’ll get more into it (Turbo, call me, bb!) but for now we’re dealing with American Flatulators.

american-flatulators-logo

I didn’t realize this existed until recently, when Junk.World posted a picture of the American Flatulators VHS to his Instagram.

There has been a fart-focused American Gladiators video out there since 1996 and I haven’t seen it? What is this injustice?!

Luckily for us, Occult Demon Cassette on YouTube is doing the lord’s work and has uploaded the full video:

Everything about this is farts. If I could just make a five-minute long video of me farting, it would be a more accurate review than anything I could write, but then I’d end up on Red Tube.

But really, how can a 53 minute video about farts hold up? Not well. These are adults in this video. Grown ass adults. Farts are funny and all, but like, come on guys. It doesn’t even look like it paid well.

That being said, it’s not all downwind downhill.

The super 90s on-screen graphics are impressive in a 90s way, especially since they mimic the American Gladiators in the best low budget way possible.

And of course, this parody wouldn’t be complete with matching fart-related TV commercials:

flatu-seltzer

jerraldo-hookers-who-fart

Flatu-Seltzer and Hookers Who Fart on Jerraldo (wow) are interesting, but the clear commercial parody winner is The Sphincter Singers / K-Smell Records.

k-smell

Not only is there a long scrolling list of fart-related song parody titles, K-Smell uses 1-800-I-GOT-GAS (or 1-800-446-8427) as their phone number. This happens to have enough numbers (and a severe lack of 5s) to be a real phone number… so is it? A little Google search brings up BecksPropane.com, who actually use that number. They even advertise the number as 1-800-I-GOT-GAS. Brilliant. I hope it’s real.

power-balloon

Games on American Flatulators include Power Balloons (Contestants and Flatulators must fart into a toilet to inflate a balloon), Don’t Pass the Gas (Joust but with farts), and Slippery Gauntlet (Gauntlet but with farts. And toilet paper). Inexplicably, there is also a talent portion to the American Flatulators where Flatulators and Contestants perform songs with farts, march while farting, you know… farts.

The farts don’t stop there. Everyone’s name in this thing (Dumper Pile, Ben Dover, Gaseous Clay, etc.) are all fart-related.

But the highlight of this entire ordeal for me? Holy shit (haha) you guys. Not only did no one tell me there was a fart-related American Gladiators parody, no one told me there was a Terminator fart parody within it. A FART WITHIN A FART. FARTCEPTION.

f2-arnold-sfartsinator

And it’s bad. Really, really bad. The Flatulator, F-2 starring Arnold Sfartsinator. Sfartsinator? They’re not even trying.

This is like if Idiocracy was real. More real than it is. IT’S WHAT PLANTS CRAVE.

What is the target audience for this? What was the audition process like? What’s the takeaway from American Flatulators? Farts are funny, but not for 53 minutes. At least I’ve leared a new, more effective way to bowl.

So, should you watch this? Yes. If I had to suffer, so should you.

What’s your take on American Flatators? Any insight as to why it exists?

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