It’s the holiday season, which no one has let you forget since November 1. In an effort to fill your ear holes with more holiday music than you could ever want, we present our top holiday music song picks to help out with your holiday party playlist!
Cat Hairballs – Ren & Stimpy
It’s pretty odd that Ren & Stimpy’s Crock O’ Christmas album doesn’t remind Linz of the holidays in the least, but it’s still a good album. And it should remind you of the holidays, at least. The first time Linz heard this, she was on summer vacation. There was another kid she was hanging around with and he brought over his sister’s Ren & Stimpy album. They listened to that for a week straight. He knew how to woo a lady.
The best part of the song might just be Stimpy’s recommendations on what he can make with his hairballs.
Funky, Funky, Xmas – New Kids on the Block
Three fun facts about this song:
1.) The entire album, Merry, Merry Christmas was recorded in the New Kids’ hotel room while they were on tour. They pushed the mattress up against the door.
2.) This video does not feature Jonathan Knight, aka Linz’s favorite New Kid:(
3.) Linz once brought this clip into class for a holiday party. The tape was stopped and she was not allowed to bring in videos again. This was 2001.
Santa Clause is Watchin’ You – Ray Stevens
Before going through the Weird Al phase (which has lasted 20+ years…) we had Ray Stevens. Not… particularly hilarious. More character-driven. But amusing enough, if only for the voices.
Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer – Elmo and Patsy
No Christmas celebration is complete without Grandma meeting her untimely demise via reindeer.
The Christmas Song (Christmas Don’t Be Late) – Alvin and The Chipmunks
Someone get that chipmunk a hoola hoop. The schtick with Alvin dicking around is just as funny as ever. But actually funny. Just this once. Or maybe that’s just the holiday spirit in us talking.
Jingle Bell Rock – Hall & Oates
Besides Linz’s love of Hall & Oates, this is only included because it’s bizarre that this video exists. Daryl’s pants. That’s all we have to say.
The Twelve Days of Christmas – Bob & Doug McKenzie
Good day, eh. The abruptness of the line “and a beer” is acceptable to laugh at even in the middle of April. We also see the trope where the performers, Bob and Doug, are struggling to keep up with the music and background singers. A nice touch.
Smurfing Bells – The Smurfs
This is exactly what you think it is.
Christmas at Ground Zero – Weird Al Yankovic
The story goes that Weird Al’s record label was pushing for a Christmas album. He gave them an upbeat ditty about nuclear annihilation while caroling. This was during the Cold War. The label stopped asking for a Christmas album after this song.
The Night Santa Went Crazy – Weird Al Yankovic
Ten years later, Al put out another holiday tune. This one is about Santa losing it and going Rambo on the elves in his workshop. Still no Christmas record.
We Wish You’d Bury The Missus – Cryptkeeper
Leave it to the ghoul mister himself to deliver a grotesque collection of holiday tunes. The title kind of speaks for itself.
The Fab Four – Jingle Bells
No, it’s not The Beatles but an incredulous simulation. The gimmick of this record is classic Christmas tunes done in the style of Beatles songs. This particular track, a mash-up of one of the most experimental Beatles songs with Jingle Bells lyrics, had us rolling. It’s all about replacing the line “It is knowing” with “It is snowing”.
Careless Santa – Mono Puff (aka John from They Might Be Giants)
It’s kind of a bitter tale of Santa ruining bank robbing schemes, set atop a catchy oldies guitar riff.
Twelve Days of Christmas – Allan Sherman
There are actually two versions of this song. The one buried in the album For Swinging Livers Only includes a line about “a statue of a naked lady with a clock where her stomach ought to be”. For the single release, the word “naked” is edited out. Considering the repetitious nature of the song, it gets pretty obvious by the end of the track.