Kids draw the darnedest things and I’m so glad I found my drawing of what I dubbed “The Ultamate Sonic Villan”. How I went on to get paid to write is beyond me. Fifth grade Linz was really slow, let me tell you.
I received my Sega Genesis, a model one that included Sonic the Hedgehog as a pack-in game and a send-away offer for a free Sonic 2, the summer after fourth grade. I was obsessed with these games.
Sonic and Sonic 2 were the only games I had for a while, minus my weekly rental option. Those games were played constantly. When I wasn’t playing Sonic, I was thinking about Sonic and my drawings reflected this.
One day I was feeling inspired. I could easily beat the first Sonic game, the second one was still a little more challenging (it took a while for that free Sonic 2 to make its way via snail mail to the Great White North so I had less time with it) but my best friend and I could knock out the 2-player mode in mere minutes. So, what would the most challenging enemy be from the entire Sonic universe that we knew at the time?
Below the illustration, I thoughtfully wrote down where each body part was from. I was going to annotate the illustration, but with 32 components to point to it ended up as an indecipherable mess. I’ve translated that into English for you and added which game they’re from in parentheses:
Balkiry’s wings (Sonic 2)
Crabmeat’s claws (Sonic 1)
Jaws’ bubble (Sonic 1)
Aquis mouth gun (Sonic 2)
Nebula’s propeller (Sonic 2)
Ball Hog’s snout (Sonic 1)
Octus’ suction cups (Sonic 2)
Turtleoid’s baby turtle (Sonic 2)
Crawlton’s and Caterkiller’s spiky body (Sonic 2/Sonic 1)
Newtron’s tail (Sonic 1)
Clucker’s body (Sonic 2)
Spiny’s flame thrower (Sonic 2)
Roller’s V (Sonic 1)
Asteron’s point (Sonic 2)
Grounder’s sharp point nose (Sonic 2)
Slicer’s slicer (Sonic 2)
Chop Chop’s teeth (Sonic 2)
Moto Bug’s eyes (Sonic 1)
Shellcracker’s arm (Sonic 2)
Doctor Robotnik’s laugh (Sonic 2)
Crawl’s Ball Spring (Sonic 2)
Buzzer’s gun (Sonic 2)
Chopper’s fin (Sonic 1)
Spiker’s shell (Sonic 2)
Buzz Bomber’s flame thrower (Sonic 1)
Rexon’s head and neck (Sonic 2)
Masher’s fin (Sonic 2)
Burrobot’s wheels (Sonic 1)
Grabber’s legs (Sonic 2)
Coconuts arm coconut thrower (Sonic 2)
Whisp’s wings (Sonic 2)
Flasher’s antennae (Sonic 2)
Things I enjoy most: that I included Turtleoid’s baby, Robotnik’s laugh, and that I wasn’t fooled: Crawlton and Caterkiller are the same damn thing.
My favorite enemy from the first Sonic the Hedgehog are those bats from Marble Zone and yet it is sadly missing from this clusterfuck of a villain. Those bats, named Batbrain according to the Japanese manual, are woefully missing from the North American manuals. This always bothered me. We ended up calling them “Bat Butt Buzz Bombers”. You know, these guys:
I guess because they weren’t in the manual I decided not to include them. I’m honestly surprised because I’d always make a big deal out of those bats. Maybe that’s this villain’s hidden power: Bat Butts buzz bombing Sonic when he’s least expecting it.